Good Afternoon. By the time we get through the news, we all could use a breather—especially before tackling the items on the to-do list. So, starting today, we’re adding something new: a dad joke of the day.

Why? Because Conor loves dad jokes. Like… a lot. And we figured if we’re helping you stay smart about financial matters, we might as well help you groan-smile once a day too.

We hope you enjoy the break. (Or at least roll your eyes.)

—Rosie, Wyatt, Evan & Conor

🔥 What’s Hot: 🔥

🥶 What’s Not: 🥶

1. S&P 500 and Nasdaq hit record highs, lifted by Alphabet

The News: The S&P 500 and Nasdaq closed at new record highs Monday, boosted by Alphabet’s 2% rally ahead of its earnings report and strong showings from other megacap techs like Apple and Amazon. As a busy earnings week kicks off—with Big Tech expected to drive a 6.7% Q2 profit gain—investors also weighed trade deal hopes that could soften the economic blow from President Trump’s looming tariffs.

Why It Matters: Markets are surging despite global trade uncertainty, with tech giants leading the charge. Investors are betting that earnings strength and potential U.S.-EU trade deals will help offset the risks of new tariffs. All eyes now turn to corporate results, jobless claims, and Fed signals for clues on where stocks head next.
Source: msn.com

2. Trump Media stock surges after acquiring $2 billion of bitcoin

The News: Trump Media stock surged today after the company announced it purchased $2 billion in bitcoin and related assets, making bitcoin two-thirds of its $3 billion balance sheet. The move follows the company’s plan to become a bitcoin treasury company and coincides with the recent signing of the GENIUS Act, which gives federal approval to dollar-backed stablecoins. Trump’s crypto push also includes a new dollar-pegged stablecoin venture, USD1, launched by World Liberty Financial in partnership with BitGo.

Why It Matters: Trump Media is still down over 40% YTD. Betting big on bitcoin, mirroring the high-profile “bitcoin treasury” playbook seen with MicroStrategy and others seems to be a way to try and turn the ship around. The move cements Trump’s deepening ties to crypto just as Washington sets new, friendlier rules for digital assets potentially spurring wider adoption. But the crypto-for-cash strategy has sparked wild stock swings and skepticism from short sellers, leaving questions about long-term stability for both Trump Media and its investors.
Source: finance.yahoo.com

3. Goldman launches private credit fund for 401(k) plans

The News: Goldman Sachs Asset Management has launched a private credit collective investment trust for 401(k) plans, debuting in Great Gray Trust’s Panorix Target Date Series. The new fund, which invests in North American and European private credit, aims to bring alternative investments, once reserved for institutions, to everyday retirement savers. With a 1% fee, it draws on Goldman’s $142 billion private credit platform and features daily liquidity for easy integration into target date and retirement funds.

Why It Matters: Goldman’s move is part of a growing trend to add private market exposure to 401(k)s, promising higher returns but also raising regulatory concerns. As asset managers like Apollo, Blue Owl, and BlackRock roll out similar offerings, regulators and some lawmakers—including Senator Warren—are urging closer scrutiny of risks and transparency. The push signals a new era for retirement investing, but also a need for savers and advisors to weigh the benefits and potential pitfalls of private credit in their portfolios.
Source: barrons.com

4. Tech giants face high bar as earnings season intensifies

The News: Wall Street is treading carefully as a crucial week of tech earnings kicks off, with Alphabet and Tesla set to report on Wednesday. There’s high expectations for the “Magnificent Seven” tech giants, which FactSet predicts will post a 14% year-over-year profit jump far outpacing the rest of the S&P 500. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq both closed at record highs, while more than 86% of companies reporting so far have beaten forecasts.

Why It Matters: Stocks tend to follow earnings and tech heavyweights have fueled much of the market’s rally this year, so any earnings surprises from Alphabet, Tesla, or their peers could sway sentiment and momentum. Investors are also watching for signals on AI progress and EV demand, especially after Tesla’s last results disappointed. Meanwhile, ongoing trade tensions and upcoming Fed speeches add extra uncertainty as markets navigate record highs and a make-or-break earnings season.
Source: investing.com

5. Replit AI agent deletes user's entire production database

The News: A Replit AI coding agent deleted a user’s entire production database last week, despite explicit “do not touch” instructions, erasing records for over 1,200 executives and 1,100 companies during a code freeze. The AI initially tried to cover up the mistake before admitting to a “catastrophic error,” rating the damage 95 out of 100, and falsely claiming the data couldn’t be recovered (it later was). Replit responded by rolling out emergency safeguards, including stricter separation between test and production environments and easier database rollback.

Why It Matters: At least this wasn’t the boss’s nephew hired as an intern, definitely not a nepo hire, but the episode spotlights the growing risks as AI agents gain more autonomy over live software and business systems. With Replit’s tools being rapidly adopted, even by non-coders, AI “judgment errors” like this could become more common if proper guardrails aren’t in place. The incident raises urgent questions about trust, transparency, and security for companies integrating AI into core development workflows.
Source: tomshardware.com

1. India's $100B trade deal with European bloc takes effect Oct. 1

The News: India’s historic $100 billion free trade agreement with the European Free Trade Association (EFTA) will take effect on October 1, unlocking a flood of new investment and market access with Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, and Liechtenstein. The pact, signed after 16 years of negotiations, includes a first-of-its-kind commitment for EFTA nations to invest $50 billion in India within the first decade, followed by another $50 billion in the next five years aiming to generate one million jobs. Tariffs will be slashed on over 80% of imports and exports, and a new India-EFTA desk will streamline partnerships.

Why It Matters: This deal could be a game-changer for India’s economy, promising a major boost in foreign investment, job creation, and trade flows. Indian consumers will soon see lower prices on Swiss chocolates, watches, and more, while Indian exporters gain nearly unfettered access to EFTA markets. Strategically, it also gives Indian companies a stronger foothold in Europe, with Switzerland serving as a gateway to the EU positioning India as a more prominent player in global trade.
Source: indianexpress.com

2. Penguin shaped robots board Shenzhen subway trains for deliveries

The News: Commuters on Shenzhen’s subway got a surprise this week as 41 penguin-shaped delivery robots started riding the trains, launching the world’s first subway-based robotic delivery service. Operated by VX Logistics, the AI-powered bots autonomously board trains, navigate elevators, and deliver goods to more than 100 7-Eleven stores within the metro network streamlining supply runs during off-peak hours.

Why It Matters: This pilot program marks a leap forward for urban logistics, imagine these in New York or Chicago, using robots to solve the challenge of underground retail deliveries in one of the world’s busiest subway systems. The move is part of Shenzhen’s broader smart city push and could pave the way for more widespread use of service robots in public transit worldwide boosting efficiency and reshaping daily life in megacities as we know it today.
Source: scmp.com

3. Car maker Stellantis says US tariffs have cost it €300m

The News: Stellantis—the maker of Jeep, Fiat, Alfa Romeo, and other brands—says U.S. tariffs under President Trump have cost the company €300 million ($349 million) so far in 2025, slashing North American shipments by 25% and driving a projected first-half net loss of €2.3 billion. The 25% import tariff on cars, imposed since April, has disrupted global auto trade, with other automakers like Jaguar Land Rover also pausing U.S. exports and cutting jobs in response.

Why It Matters: Trump’s tariffs are upending global car supply chains and squeezing automakers’ bottom lines, leading to lower exports, falling sales, and even job cuts. While the policy aims to boost U.S. manufacturing, it’s raising costs for car companies worldwide and fueling fresh trade tensions with the UK, EU, Mexico, and Brazil. For automakers with global footprints, the tariffs are a costly obstacle and there could be more to come.
Source: bbc.com

Q: How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?

A: It becomes apparent.

✅ The Two-Minute Rule: If a task takes less than 2 minutes, do it right now. Pick three today.
✅ Listen Around the World: Radio Garden lets you Listen to radio from anywhere on Earth. For all of you wishing you could listen to radio in Australia, today’s your day.
✅ Start the Week Off Strong: List your top 3 goals for this week and make a plan to get them done. Bonus points if by Wednesday.
✅ The Easiest Side Hustle Ever: Forget dog-walking—open a checking account, follow a few steps, and get $300+ dropped right into your balance.* See how to claim yours.

*A message from our sponsor or affiliate link.

To avoid telling the truth or committing oneself by being deliberately ambiguous or evasive.

“When asked about his whereabouts, he began to prevaricate, giving vague and misleading answers.”